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Posts Tagged ‘wedding’

Ok, so I was planning on keeping life in general seperate from this blog and put it on another–turns out I am busy, and trying to manage three blogs is not too easy.  I only have the third one set up…haven’t even written for it yet!

Lots of life changes have been happening here.  It has been one thing after another–it seems that I am trying to cram all the things that are supposed to happen over the course of about 10 years into about a month and a half.  🙂  Seems like I am joking, but really, very serious.  So I’ll try to start at the somewhat beginning.

I had a lousy marriage before.  I tried my hardest to make it work, tried to pretend it was all wonderful and would eventually work itself out.  Everyone said the first year is always the hardest, but four years…it was a bit much, and only getting worse.  Last December, as posted before, I left and divorced him.  It did break my heart because I would (and do) miss my stepsons, despite the problems that we had.  My ex actually was quite understanding on why I left, and we did end up going through the divorce as easily as could be expected.  We agreed that we would be fine with the other dating before the divorce was finalized, which is where the next big step happened.

I had moved in with my grandfather to help take care of him.  Over the Christmas break (work at the university meant we had two weeks off), I was up late watching TV often.  One night I saw the eHarmony commercial, and normally would roll my eyes, but this time I thought about it and signed up for three months.  Two weeks later, I met my hubby-to-be.  Dan and I went thru the whole eHarmony process, then we emailed, talked all night on the phone many nights, and then met–already in love. 

Everyone who met him and saw us together knew we were meant to be.  We moved in together at the end of Feb, and started planning out our future.  We decided to get married in May, after my college graduation–yet another huge accomplishment that happened.  On May 6, his parents came in from Colorado to take care of the dogs while we went on a weekend getaway from May 7-9th.  It was wonderful–a beautiful bed and breakfast, a helicopter ride, and him proposing to me.  😀  It was perfect!

May 14th I graduated from college with my BAAS in Psychology, Sociology, and Social Work.  Backing up a little…I had left my job at the UPD at the beginning of March when I had to choose between my job and school.  Obviously school won out–I was in my internship, which also happened to be at the UPD.  It was a bit, uh, strange, but I got through it.  I was happy and scared–I had been in school for 13 years, and now I didn’t know what to do.  After talking about it, we decided I would start my own business consulting others on sexual assault, domestic violence, and child abuse, plus a few other topics that are related. 

Then it was time for the wedding…five days after my graduation.  It was awesome…we got married in a cave with only 16 people there, including us and the JP.  We decided to take the tour as well, so we did the educational thing on the way to the back of the cave, stopped, got married, then came back out of the cave.  After we all had dinner at a restaurant, new hubby and I took a mini-honeymoon for three days about 2 hours away from us, and then came back. 

When we returned home, I found out that my grandfather passed away the morning after the wedding.  It was upsetting, but he was not happy and was not leading any quality of life.  I didn’t go to the funeral; I can’t handle them, and with all the things that had been happening in the weeks before, I was on an emotional rollercoaster.  The thought of going through even more was not something that I thought that I could handle.   I pushed on with starting my consulting business, and was very thrilled that I retained my first client within the first week!!  I worked on the project for that client, and then hubby and I were off again to visit friends in Dallas–the weekend of June 11-13.  We had a lot of fun, but I was always tired, feeling up then down, then tired or energetic.  It was when we got home that Sunday that we started thinking, then running out the door to Walgreens…

For those who have read my blog before, they know what a rollercoaster I went through with my ex.  So many can understand just how excited I was when I took the six pregnancy tests and saw them all pop up PREGNANT!!  I wasn’t supposed to be able to conceive without the assistance of drugs and IVF, so this was the most amazing surprise!  We had already been looking at adoption since we had gotten married, both of us accepting that we would most likely not have a child of our own.  I am thrilled, he is thrilled, and our life has been turned upside down–or at least mine.  Why?  Because it was over the vacation that we left for to visit Colorado–the 18th thru the 26th–I really began to show.  I packed for the trip a day before we left, and even tho I had put on a little over 10 lbs since we conceived, all my clothes fit (I thought).  My weight has always fluctuated in a 10 lb range.  However, this time things are different…I am going straight out, not equal at all angles.  So we had to go to get some clothes for me to wear a few days into the trip since nothing fit anymore.  Then, like most pregnant women, there are the wonderful mood swings–my tolerance for people picking on me has gotten to be extremely short.  This was a key factor in my mother and I not getting along for a lot of the trip, as well as since I have been home. 

I understand that our families are happy for us, but at the same time, they haven’t been through what I have been through.  I have had to explain that it isn’t her right to tell everyone everything–it is still early, first of all, and second, there are certian people in her life that I don’t want knowing.  Mainly her best friend–her eldest daughter (my former childhood best friend) is pregnant as well, and they tend to put us in competition or comparison.  I deal with that in my family, I don’t need to hear everything about another one or “compete” with another person on who has it harder.  I am too old for that!  Now, my mother’s best friend’s youngest daughter has taken it upon herself to email everything to my ex–including pictures–thanks to Facebook (she is now blocked, didn’t think that I had to keep these things from her) and my mom, too.  Ok, that huge gripe done, that has been the biggest issue with life and pregnancy.   Now that it has mostly been dealt with, all is much better.  🙂

Of course, since we found out we are pregnant, my first thought was I wnat to know what the baby’s gender is…I need to knit!!  I started knitting a generic colored blanket, but it isn’t as satisfying as knitting something in particular.  I also want to do a pair of Bethany’s booties (and BTW–“Bethenny” is a front runner for a girl’s name!!)…just want to know if it is a boy or girl!!  My mom is also going to cross-stitch something, but again, I want to wait to see what we are expecting.  We have see pictures, tho–we  saw our little “peanut” on Wednesday!  It was stunning…the little heartbeat…it still make me want to cry.  So here is “Peanut” in his/her first picture!! (we are betting–I am guessing a boy at this point!)

Oh–I am 8 weeks along, and due on Febuary 9!

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With me resigning from the PD to focus on my schoolwork (would like to say it was my idea, but I was given a choice of which was more important to me–funny, as I go to the university I worked for), I have had something called “free time,” something I haven’t had in a long time.  But that is jumping ahead a bit…

So backing up a few months–I am divorced, and we are ok friends.  Things for me have changed, and changed quite drastically.  The “free time” I spoke of before has been quite a blessing, not only allowing for me to work on my internship (ironically at the PD I quit from) but also time for me to reflect on my life.  Signing up on eHarmony turned out to be the best decision I have made, matching me to a man I dearly love.  Yes, many have doubted that I can love so quickly and move too fast with someone I met on the internet.  Normally I would agree on that stance, but seeing as it has happened to me, I am quite a bit more open-minded on the topic.

Dan is amazing, and a perfect compliment to me.  I couldn’t have made a better choice.  My attitude has changed, and I am a much happier me.  His parents welcomed me with open arms (over the phone and on email, as they live in a different state), already considering me their daughter.  I introduced Dan to my parents, and they adore him, too–also telling both of us the amazing change in my attitude.  I moved in with him at the end of February, and my Grandpa went to a nursing home–he had another stroke and I couldn’t stay with him all the time or pick him up when he falls, which is quite often.  Shortly after, Dan gave me a beautiful promise ring, and this last Sunday had the talk with my dad.  My dad has been the biggest doubter of this entire relationship, the one that has been the loudest on us going too quickly.  So I was quite surprised when he said yes.  He is actually very happy and thrilled that I made a good decision–apparantly a lot of the “talk” was about all the terrible decisions that I have made throughout my life.  Makes me feel really good, but what can I do…those are his opinions, but I call those decisions “learning experiences”.  Anyway, not too long after I moved in, I waws backed into the corner at work to make the decision between work and school–work believed that they should be first in my life, and school being second.  At that point, I was only three months from graduation, so there was no way I was going to toss away $1800 just so I could keep a job that I was beginning to like less and less because they were changing my duties.  I am fortunate to be able to be at home and focus on my studies, and also begin thinking about what I want out of life. 

So back to the “free time” agian.  With this time, I have had two major…things…that I want to do.  First, I have eight patterns that are floating around in my head.  I am currently test knitting one of them, and I have one written out.  So hopefully I will be able to finish the test knit and write out the pattern–pretty basic, but it is coming out really cute.  🙂  During breaks and watching movies or TV,  I have been working on my patterns and test knits–Dan is going to build me a website soon, too, so I can put them on the web.  I am SO excited about this!  I have wanted to be able to write out patterns for quite some time, but have never had the chance–now I do, and I intend to take advantage of it!  And I can’t wait to share them with everyone!!

The second thing that I came up with just thinking about life is that I now know what I want to do as far as a career is concerned.  I thought for sure before I wanted to be in emergency management/police administration, but now that I have had time away and have been working on my internship project, I realized that the one thing I miss the most from working at the police department–doing the lectures in the freshman classes on safety and sexual assault on campus.  I was able to teach, warn and help students, and it was the most satisfying aspect of my job that I had.  After mulling it over, I realized I could still do that, but in a different capacity.  I know now that after I graduate, I am going to become an independent consultant.  I already have the ball rolling, as my internship project will definitely be a major portion of it.  I have tons more ideas of how to make it work and what I will do, and my future father in law and Dan both are behind me 100%, my FIL actually helping guide me in the right direction (he was an independent consultant at one time).  I can’t wait to get started on all of this!!  Things are really looking great. 🙂

Last, I wanted to say that I have started a new blog.  It is just basically somewhere I write about everyday stuff.  It would be great for everyone to check it out as well, and I do hope that it takes off.  🙂  This one I am going to go back to gearing it towards knitting, as I had originally intended.  Surprisingly, Dan has also picked up loom knitting, and we are both working on the charity project I had set at the beginning of the year–to make 100 baby hats–and we have decided to donate them to the children’s hospital in town.  A very close friend of mine works there as a nutritionist, and she has given me the contact there (and is also helping with my recent diagnosis of being diabetic–which she was shocked about since I am only 105lbs and 5’3, not exactly fitting the typical profile).  It is wonderful to have someone that is interested in doing the same things that you do, ya know?

Good night for now–going to get some rest for tomorrow!!

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Here it is, January 2010!!  I think I might have gotten an hour’s worth of sleep on New Year’s Eve…not because I was out partying with people, but because (1) poor Izzy couldn’t get comfortable with her foot injury, (2) my back injury and (3) my neighbors had a party from 5pm to 6am.  I know that they are older than me by some years, but even I can’t party for 12 hours straight, or even have company for that long!! 

The new year brings a lot for me.  It will be the year that I become single again.  The year that I graduate from college.  The year I become a certified sexual assault advocate.  There is a lot that I am expecting of this year, and I really hope that it does turn out great.  I am making an effort to be a lot more positive, and being a lot less of a procrastinator. 

I have made a lot of adjustments the past few weeks since leaving my ex.  Living in the new house has been pretty good, and my grandfather and I are getting along pretty well.  The pups are now comfortable with him, and I am so relieved by that!  Izzy is finally feeling better since she broke off her nail, and walking normal.  I have had two appointments with my massage therapist, and feeling a little better.  When Izzy injured herself, she didn’t like me trying to look at her foot, and then ended up hurting me.  My hips were hurt when she threw herself back, and ended up losing 30% of my rotation.  It’s going to be ok, just need to work on them.  The only other issue that I am having is the lack of space for me at the house.  I am doing what I can with the space allotted, but I am having to get seriously creative with storage.  I still have many boxes to go through, but no space to put things away.  I wish I did, but just not possible.  Will see what I can do…I am trying to figure a plan, but think I have one formualting…

My cousin, Hilary, got married to her boyfriend of 7 years on the 10th.  I wasn’t sure that I was going to have a good time, but I was surprised that I actually had a lot of fun.  🙂  She was absolutely stunning, glowing, happy…all the things that a bride should be.  There were things that went wrong, of course, but she took them all in stride and laughed at it.  It made things just that much better.  I managed to avoid the usual statement that I make when I see her…”I remember when I changed your diapers, you were so cute…”  But I did say it to my aunt.  HAD to get it out.  LOL!  Anyway, here are some pictures…

The day after the wedding, I woke to disaster.  I thought that I had had a good hold on my emotions, but I was proven wrong.  It started with the fact I only got an hour of sleep after returning from the wedding–I let my “date” (close friend of mine) have my bed and I slept on the couch.  G’pa was up by 6:30a, and I had just managed to fall asleep on the couch.  Since I was up and moving, I decided to go ahead and do a load of laundry.  Apparantly, that was the last straw for the sewer line–it collapsed, and flooded the driveway clean out and both of the bathrooms.  G’pa was very upset, and that was the straw that broke my emotional dam–I stepped outside, called my ex, and sobbed.  Got it under control, and then my parents showed up to try to fix it–and again, I broke down sobbing.  After taking some meds, I calmed down and slept for about an hour.  I was able to better deal with the situations.  They told us it would be fixed by Thursday (today), but now since it is raining it will not be fixed until Saturday or Monday.  I never realized just how much I rely on a sewer line until this happened and everything I need to do relies on it–showers, laundry, dishes, bathroom–it sucks.  And I have to stay there to make sure things are going ok, sign stuff, and answer questions.  Just glad that there are stores nearby and another set of grandparents that are only about 5 miles away.  *sigh*  It is a trial, but I can manage. 

Other than that, just been pouring through case files to try and show the need for a sexual assault advocacy program.  I have joined a SART in Williamson country, and will be doing the same in Hays.  I am very exicted about the program, and going to be working on computerizing my findings as I go.  I have been pretty much putting off all else around the house and in my life to do my research–still need to write out letters to friends about moving, make a few more presents thru knitting, and a few other things.  Like dating.  I am seriously considering it, and actually signed up for an online dating service.  Never done it before, and we will see how it goes. 🙂

Happy New Year to everyone!!!

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