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Posts Tagged ‘loom’

Well, last Friday was the big day.  Everyone got to the house right before 7am.  Mom brought donuts and I made coffee.  I was surprised that we had two people that were not expected to help show up, but it was a huge help to have them.  I was so thankful and grateful to have everyone there–a total of 9 of us–to get me packed and moved out.  I wasn’t able to pack anything before hand, so it was just starting from scratch.  We managed to do it in about four and a half hours, which was really surprising to me.  We had to get a larger storage unit, but it worked out.  The downside–where I am now, there is not a lot of space for me yet.  There will be in February when I will begin living alone here (about mid month unless they complete the room faster), but for now, I am pretty cramped.  Which means I had to leave a lot in storage–including the majority of my yarn and looms.  I did keep some out to help with the stress and to finish some of the projects I need to get done.  It is still a huge adjustment, and the dogs are finally beginning to feel a bit more at home.  I know that it is going to take me longer, but thankfully I am on vacation til the first week of January.  I really don’t think I could have done this while I was in school and at work.  It has been an emotional rollercoaster, one that I really want to end.   He hasn’t made it easy by any means, and I guess it is partly my fault since I keep answering his texts.  Eventually–soon–I am going to have to draw the line and tell him to stop. or just stop answering. 

The hardest part has been the boys.  I have had my troubles with my oldest stepson, but it doesn’t mean I don’t love him.  I miss him dearly.  My youngest–well, he doesn’t know yet.  The ex has just told him that I am away for work.  My oldest thinks it is his fault, and I told the ex it is HIS job to reassure him and not let him think that way.  He said he did…and then promptly sent them to their grandmother’s house (his ex’s mother) since I wasn’t going to be there to babysit for the week (he isn’t off til Thursday afternoon).  So far, so good–he hasn’t had them call me.  That I don’t think I could handle.

More things have happened since I left, particuarly on Wednesday.  It isn’t going to be nice anymore–I thought that this could be civil.  Due to the events, I am not going to write too much about them, but it boils down to him about to get into a lot of trouble if he doesn’t stop bothering me and saying things he won’t be able to back up.

However, there have been some wonderful people in the last almost week that have helped immensely with my transition, along with the dogs.  They are happy in the new yard–Izzy discovered her first squirrel, and just wants to play, but the squirrel just threw sticks and stuff at her.  I have never seen my 60lb dog stand on her back legs and walk, but she was so funny when she did it.  🙂  I have found that she is scared of elderly people and doesn’t like one of my uncles.  Trooper is doing better, and actually warming up to people faster than Izzy is–Izzy is usually the really friendly one and has no problem with anyone.  I guess it is just the change.  Hopefully soon things will be back to somewhat normal, and life can go on .

Although limited in my supplies, I did manage to rescue a few of my looming projects from before it was all stored.  I finished a scarf yesterday, and will be working on another today–late Christmas presents.  After I get batteries (and yes, I am thinking about braving the grocery store on Christmas Eve) I will take pictures so I can post.  It is an extremely basic scarf, same and the one I am knitting now, so nothing too major.  The “major” project is working on a bandage, but I keep getting frustrated with the small stitches.  I keep telling myself I need to do it, as it is for charity.  New charity for the new year.

Happy holidays everyone, and hope that you have a wonderful and merry time with your loved ones.  🙂

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The dreaded D

Yep, I have been out of touch for awhile.  There has been a lot on my plate to deal with, and I haven’t been dealing with it very well.  Down 20 pounds, and really can’t afford to lose the weight (down to 100), plus the addition of two anxiety meds as well as my pain meds being increased.  But  there is some good news to go along with all of this.  Seeing as most people ask for bad news first, we’ll start there.

As most know, I have been married for almost four years.  I am wife number three.  I have two stepsons, the oldest I have been around since he was five and the youngest since he was 8 months old.  I tried to be the best stepmom ever, trying harder to make a stable environment with structure and love.  For my youngest, it was easy, as he didn’t know any different from having two moms and a dad.  For my oldest, it was harder–he knew what it was like when his parents were married, and now there was someone new that he had to treat like a mom.  It has gone ok, but there have been problems.  Mostly the problems come from my marriage, though.

My husband is not a nice person.  For years I have blamed his father for that; he is a horrible man that is very verbally abusive.  My husband has always said he does not want to be like his father, but sadly he is just like him.  He has no patience, a very volitile temper, and is miserable–never happy unless everyone around him is miserable, too.  It has gotten worse as the years have gone by, and I have finally reached my breaking point.  I teach the cycle of abuse, as mentioned in my last post.  Just like almost every other victim, I made excuses all the time for his behavior, always saying he will change, saying that he is sorry after he treats me so badly and does all he can to make it up.  Towards the middle of October, that changed.  He said things that I won’t forget, and won’t make excuses for.  Things like he hates me, doesn’t like me, isn’t attracted to me, that I am a waste of space, the most cruel person he knows, a bitch, etc.  I realized then that when he goes on rants like that, I cry and beg for another chance, saying I will be better.  It took me a few years, but I realize now that it isn’t me.  I will say there is a small part–very small–that is me and my personality, but not enough to trigger this amount of extreme hatred.  After looking at this from a perspective of someone investigating a domestic abuse situation rather than from the first person point of view, several things popped out.  His past with his dysfunctional family.  The fact he had two previous wives.  The switching of personality, from happy and nice hubby to the mean and cruel man.  I can say from a psychological point of view that he has a high probability of being bipolar and hates women.  But like most abusers (not all, but most), no one thinks he is capable of being what I say he is.  They see him as a laid back, super nice guy that would go out of his way to help someone.  To someone’s face, he is that. But as soon as the person is out of earshot, he will tear them apart. 

To make a long story shorter (because this post is already long, and only going to get longer), I finally told my parents what was going on, something he thinks I would never do (my parents are not fond of divorce–but they love me, and always support my decisions).  Both agreed that I need to get a divorce.  That’s when things really got rolling.  It was going to wait until January, but got pushed up because he made a threat.  All the paperwork is now done, and just waiting to give it to him.  I don’t want any more conflict; I just want (and need) out. He still doesn’t know, and won’t know until the day it happens.  *sigh*  This all happens tomorrow.  I am stressed and scared, but thankful that my friends and family have been so supportive.  I don’t know what I would have done without them.  Thank you to all who have listened–I really appreciate it.  🙂

Ok, on to the good news.  My friend Sam and his wife had their baby last week!  I finally had finished the blanket for them and it made it there in time.  🙂  It was the color of the nursery–something I hadn’t planned–so that was good luck, too!!  Sam posted some pictures, and I was so thrilled to see baby Jack wrapped in the blanket I made at the hospital! 

Baby Jack's blanket--finally finished!!

I was honored that they brought it with them, and so happy that it has found such a loving home. 

Over the past year and two months, my department has been planning a conference for the Texas Association of College and University Police Administrators (TACUPA).  At first, I didn’t understand why on earth we were starting the planning so early.  By the time that the conference rolled around, I completely understood.  No matter how much we planned, there were still things that went wrong.  We were able to keep most of it hidden, and we were all proud of that.  But I will write another post about the conference…under the emergency management tab.  🙂  Hopefully I can get that done today, too!!

Until later, hope everyone has a happy holidays!!  Thank you to everyone who has been there for me, and continues to be there for me.  I am very blessed to have such wonderful friends. One more day…and hopefully things go smoothly.  Wish me luck.  🙂

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Winnie the Pooh has always been one of my absolute favorites.  Many blankets, a few stuffed animals, plenty of clothes…I may be grown, but Pooh has always had a place in my heart.  And I think he said it best…”Oh, bother.”  That can sum up my month.

Many know that for the last four years hubby and I have been trying to have a child together.  He has two of his own, and for the summer is when we get them–we had the youngest for a month, and my oldest SS stayed until yesterday.  At the beginning of July, hubby and I decided that it was time again to go back on fertility meds.  So we did–and I remembered quite quickly the side effects of Clomid.  The hot flashes, mood swings, and the trouble focusing because of the previous two.  This also meant that I had to stop taking my arthritis meds–my arthritis being in my knees and hips.  So walking became an issue, but I was allowed my pain med and muscle relaxer.  That helped, but I am back to using a cane.  A little over a week ago was when we started blood testing, and we were excited since I was late–but all came back negative.  However, progesterone was way up, and the OB wanted an ultrasound to see what was going on.  It was a mortifying experience since there were a few mishaps, but it turned out I had a ruptured cyst, which mimicked the signs of early pregnancy.  This month there will be no Clomid so I can recover (sucks), but still will try.

That in itself had me down, but now I have a new focus…my birthday.  I turn 30 on Tuesday.  Most people–women especially–will understand the slight depression of turning 30.  It is the loss of your 20s…and a time for reflection.  At least to me.  Growing up, most people have a thought of how life will turn out for them.  Me, I had mine planned:
1. Graduating high school
2. Go to college and graduate in 4 years
3. Marry my high school sweetheart
4. Get an awesome job
5. Have my first child
…all by the time I was 26.  Here I am, days from 30…  
1.  I did graduate from high school.  Check! 
2. I went to college–but won’t be graduating until next spring (I hope), so that took 13 years (yes, just for my BA…had a few bumps in the road).
3. My high school sweetheart and I broke up the first year in college, and I had a little bit of a smirk when I found out he married someone who looked like my twin.  🙂  However, I did get married, but at age 26–and to a customer from a bar where I worked–lol!!
4. I did get an awesome job, just accomplished this year (well, kinda last year, but too much to get in to).  Took me almost 10 years, but I was persistent about working for this PD.  Granted I drive 65 miles each way, I am super happy where I am at and thrilled at what I do.
5. Turns out havin kiddos of my own is a bit of a challenge.  But I have made up my mind that now is the time.  Risks for me are already high as it is, so waiting much longer will just make things worse. I do have two great stepsons (when they don’t hate me for having rules), but it’s not the same. 

But with my birthday comes presents–and some come early.  🙂  Hubby was wonderful and ordered me some BEAUTIFUL looms from DA Looms (again, thank you Isela!!  They are perfect!!).  I finally got the Wondersock Loom and an RG 60″ Infinity Rake.  They are perfect!!  I decided to knit myself a pair of birthday socks, and finished them yesterday.  I wanted to finish them last week, but of course I kept getting distracted by other projects–I finished a beanie for a dear friend that is an EMT, and still working on a scarf in a tiled pattern in the gorgeous plum chenille yarn.  Have more sock yarn I want to use, and can’t wait to start again…

My parent’s threw me a birthday party yesterday, and was quite surprised to see that there were so many people that came, including Robert and family from an hour and a half away…it was great.  I was also surprised that I had such a great time.   Here are some birthday highlights:

Anyway, the big day is tomorrow, and I will be enjoying it at work.  🙂

Speaking of…need to get back to it!!

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Once again, I am going to go off of looming for a bit.  My babies are home for 5 weeks, and I am SO happy, but not too happy with their regular home life.  Just letting everyone know, they are my stepsons, although I treat as my own, and they have been through so much my heart aches for them.

I worry for my oldest son, since the divorce was so hard on him.  Every hurtful comment from the mom’s boyfriend (of two years or so) really gets to him.  Now he is scared that if he misbehaves I will leave him, since that was what he was told.  I was LIVID.  NO ONE speaks for me.  Period.  And I unleashed a torrent to her and to her sister about what the boyfriend had said.  I wasn’t about to stand for anyone telling him I might leave, and I never will leave him, no matter what happens between my husband and I.  So they have been warned–if I hear anything whatsoever that might even be a whisper of detrimental speaking on their behalf–talking about me, my husband, or them–I will be all over them like white on rice.  The problem was fixed, he is reassured, and I have two happy little boys right now.  I think that the boyfriend get frustrated because my oldest has a mild form of tourrets syndrome, and so handling him is a bit different than you would a normal child.  Structure is important, and so is counseling.  Since it is mild, we don’t need drugs, at least yet, for what he has.  It is fine as long as no one says anything hurtful for the most part or triggers anxiety or nervousness.  But if it gets to be any worse at that house, I am not going to stand by. 

I know I sound like one of those women who hates the ex and anything that has to do with her.  That’s not true.  We actually do get along to a degree, and I am pretty close with her family (as in I stay at their house, talk on the phone, email, hang out, etc).  I consider them family, they consider me family, and most of the time the conversations end with a “love you.”  We pretty much see eye to eye on how much we dislike the boyfriend, too, so it’s nice to have that support as well.

Ok, on to the good stuff.  We have had a blast so far…been able to go to the pool, hang out and watch movies, play some video and card games.  It’s been really nice having them here, although hectic at times.  And in the spare time, I have been able to get some knitting done.  I am ALMOST finished with the hooded scarf that I am knitting for my mom’s birthday.  I want to get started on several other projects I have running around in my head.  I want to make another hooded scarf, inspired to make some socks, and make a few more brimless hats for my mom.  I want to try to make the pinwheel blanket that I have been itching to make for a few years, especially for the baby my friend just had.  Just seems perfect.  However I can’t figure out the cast on and how to start it…

Anyway, the boys should be home in a minute from the latest swimming expedition.  I need to start getting dinner ready, and maybe get my scarf finished.  Lots to think about, lots to do!!!  Happy daze everyone!!

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I haven’t knitted in awhile, as I said before.  But knowing I was going to be down for a few days, I went and dug up a few UFOs (unfinished objects) to work on and hopefully complete after much procrastination.  I had promised Dwayne to finish his project some time ago, and yesterday afternoon I finally did.  I also finished another baby hat to add to my pile for donation, so I felt pretty good about that.  While putting the hat in the bag in the closet, I came across a few bags full of yarn, and remembered that I was supposed to knit a hooded scarf for my mom for Christmas.  So…now was the time to go ahead and start.

See, I cracked a tooth last week, and after many phone calls and much frustration, I finally found a dentist that could get me in.  He got me in and scheduled me for the beginning of a lot of dental work I had been putting off.  WONDERFUL man, and an even more wonderful assistant named Wendy.  She helped me through all of this, and I couldn’t be more grateful.  The pain has been really terrible, and without her, I don’t think I could have made it–I know that the pain is completely worth having it all fixed, but I know that you have to have someone there to hold your hand, and I am not above asking.

Anyway, I am about one skien into the scarf.  Looks like it will be needing about 5 or 6 to get through it since it is wide and thick.  It is also very soft, and I think I am going to use the same type of yarn for another project I have in mind.  Thinking about these scarfs and how I keep getting frustrated with doing the same thing over and over, I have come up with a few new ideas for patterns, and I really hope they pan out.  It will be awesome, and maybe I can learn how to put them up for sale on my blog.  **SIDE NOTE:  If anyone out there knows how to put things up for sale on a blog, PLEASE let me know!!  Thanks in advance!!**

I’ll put up the pictures of my finished project later.  I need to download them from the camera, and right now, being drugged to the eye-teeth, I don’t feel like doing much more than lie here on the couch.  Happy Monday everyone!!

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Well, I think I am going to start with the “Friday Fill-in” first…

1. Oh, I am so _tired_ !

2. _Pain_ changes, big and little.

3. During _work today_, I _am hoping that I hear the final word on my job at lunch with Chief…_.

4. _”Stepmoms aren’t real parents”_; are you kidding me??? (I have been hearing that A LOT lately)

5. Right now I’d like to be _in bed, happily asleep_.

6. _My Blackberry (I know, I know)_ is my favorite gadget.

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I’m looking forward to _relaxing on the couch and catching up on my shows_, tomorrow my plans include _having company for dinner_ and Sunday, I want to _study so I am ready for classes next week_!

It’s been a busy week.  It was the first week of classes, we had the new president sworn into office, Trooper got fixed, and I started the first of my two classes that I am taking this semester.  Only four (pretty sure of that) more until I graduate after these two!  I decided to retake a psychology course called Sensation and Perception that I failed (to ever show up for) many years ago, and a sociology course in Criminology.  Since classes started on Tuesday, I only attended one class–Criminology–this week, as my other class is on Monday nights.  I will say that the class is very interesting.  The professor started the class with going around the room to make introductions–we all had to state our name, where we were from, what our race is, and a crime that we have committed.  Considering what I do, I wasn’t too happy with the last part of the introduction speech.  I did choose to keep my profession quiet, and only admitted to a “crime” that I know is on record–when I ran over someone (and no, didn’t kill him; I just bumped him and he scratched his leg.  They said they wouldn’t sue, declined medical assistance, but then decided to sue three weeks later from Mexico claiming a lot of BS…needless to say, I was pissed…but that’s another story).  All in all, I think I am going to enjoy the class, but hope that he at least gives us a break in the middle (it is a 3 hour night course); he didn’t this last time, and by the time we got out of class I was in an immense amout of pain and decided to recover the next day instead of going to work.  Afterall, for now I am still a student worker. 

Trooper got fixed on Tuesday.  I was so sure that that was the best plan since he has been marking things in the house, is quite aggressive, and keeps tearing up things (usually things that are mine).  When he brought him home I felt terrible…Trooper was doped up and looked so sad.  His ears were down and tail was down, whimpering, and I held him the entire evening, giving him his pain meds at 8pm.  The next day he was still unhappy and hurting, and I knew that I wouldn’t be getting home until late and felt bad about leaving him.  Turns out he was much better but knew that I would baby him if he acted hurt.  He’s absolutely fine now, bouncing around, playing, and back to normal.  Just really hoping that he will calm down on the “marking territory” and chewing up my things!

I made the decision to knit at least 50 hats for donation to an area hospital for NICU.  Tonigjht I will finish at least 5, maybe six.  There was a great sale at Michaels on the softest yarn, and I had to get some.  Turned out just perfect for these little hats!!  I have been itching to knit more, and have some wonderful yarns I want to play with.  I am looking to knit a shawl later, maybe some yoga leggings (even tho I don’t do yoga)…just something different.  You can only knit so many scarves and hats, you know?  🙂  But still, I want to do something more complicated, so this fits in that category.

Tomorrow we are having friends over for BBQ.  I am looking quite forward to it, especially since we haven’t seen these friends since September or October.  It is going to be a great menu with great people.  I need this relaxing…next week is going to be nuts!!  I’m going to try to alleviate some of the stress by making a schedule…lists always seem to help….  🙂

Anyway, hope that everyone has a wonderful weekend.  To my dear friend, hang in there.  It will get easier.  I’ll always be here for you!!  Just remember, you are stronger than you think you are.  Nothing will be dealt to you that you can’t handle, even if you need some help along the way.

*hugs*

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FINALLY.  Today I found out.  It’s only been since October that I have been trying to get a permanent position at the PD.  After much waiting (three long months), I got the word today…I GOT THE JOB!!  Of course, it won’t be in effect until Feb. 1st, but that’s ok.  I am just so relieved to finally have an answer, and a good one at that!!  So now I am over parking and emergency management, was added to three committees, and became a member of TACUPA.  Very exciting!!!

Wow…it’s been a long time since I wrote on here.  It was a resolution to write more often, but it seems that every time I sat down to start writing something came up that required my immediate attention.  The boys were here for Christmas, and that went wonderfully.  My oldest requested to make a gingerbread house, and hubby and I agreed that it would be a great idea.  Things have been rough for them lately, so we wanted to do all that we could to make this a Christmas they really enjoyed.  Making the gingerbread house was loads of fun–however, the instructions said that the icing only needed 15 minutes to set up, and that was WAY off.  We had to support the roof with tupperware overnight to make sure it stayed together.  Here’s what it looked like:
gingerbread-house1

My oldest told me that Santa would for sure eat the chimney, and sure enough, he did!  That made both kiddos so happy!

After the boys went back home, I had another week of vacation.  I was SO thrilled at having peace and quiet and time to just relax.  Monday I had planned to start the day with a hot bath and a book, using one of the new bath bombs that I had ordered.  I drew the bath, found a good book to read, turned off the cell phone, slid into the tub…and after a minute figured out that I was allergic to the bath bomb.  Promptly broke out in hives!!!  Two showers and half of a bottle of liquid Benadryl later, I was not as relaxed as I had planned to be.  I spent the remainder of the day on the couch trying not to itch and recover, knitting with the dogs curled up beside me.  Surely the rest of my vacation would go well, right??  Wrong!!  I came down with a cold the next morning and was bed ridden until Saturday.  Missed New Years (fell asleep at 9pm), didn’t go anywhere or see anyone.  Then when I felt better, I did something that I have needed to do for years….I went through my closet!  I donated five trashbags full of clothing and one of shoes to Goodwill, then threw out five more bags of trash.  I was quite proud.  🙂

I was thrilled to get back to work, believe it or not.  I missed being at my office, doing what I love doing, and seeing the people that I work with.  I know I am strange…not too many people can say they WANT to be at work.  I had presents to deliver, one of them being for Robert.  I made him a fleece blanket like I did for the boys (which they absolutely loved, much to my happiness!!), and I was very happy with the way it turned out.
robert-blanket1

I also completed my commissioned baby set for another co-worker:
baby-set11

I did decide that this year I am going to make resolutions.  I did make them late since I was so, so sick on New Years, but I am pretty intent on actually sticking to these this year.  So here’s the list, although partial; I am planning on adding more as I see fit.

Jeni’s Resolutions for 2009

1.  Graduate from college (projected to happen in December if I stick to the current plan)
2.  Obtain a full-time position at the UPD (DONE!!)
3.  Keep up with my blog, and post more often
4.  Take on more complicated patterns
5.  Finish writing my patterns so that they can be sold
6.  Knit more for my chairity, Hope Pregnancy Center
7Learn to shoot
8.  Finish at least 5 more FEMA courses or courses related to Emergency Management
9.  Improve upon my CafeMom group to make it more active and fun
10.  Become a member of professional Emergency Management organizations, such as IAEM

Those are the first 10.  I know that I will think of more, and add them as the year progresses.  I will also keep it updated when I complete a goal I have set for myself.

Well, I believe I have rambled enough for now.  For those of you loom knitters who are looking for something fun and interesting to do, also with a chance of winning some awesome patterns, head over to Karen’s blog where she is celebrating her blog’s two year anniversary with an awesome party!!  Have fun, and good luck!!  Maybe I will do something like that for my two year mark…it’s a wonderful idea!!

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