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Posts Tagged ‘knit’

Well, last Friday was the big day.  Everyone got to the house right before 7am.  Mom brought donuts and I made coffee.  I was surprised that we had two people that were not expected to help show up, but it was a huge help to have them.  I was so thankful and grateful to have everyone there–a total of 9 of us–to get me packed and moved out.  I wasn’t able to pack anything before hand, so it was just starting from scratch.  We managed to do it in about four and a half hours, which was really surprising to me.  We had to get a larger storage unit, but it worked out.  The downside–where I am now, there is not a lot of space for me yet.  There will be in February when I will begin living alone here (about mid month unless they complete the room faster), but for now, I am pretty cramped.  Which means I had to leave a lot in storage–including the majority of my yarn and looms.  I did keep some out to help with the stress and to finish some of the projects I need to get done.  It is still a huge adjustment, and the dogs are finally beginning to feel a bit more at home.  I know that it is going to take me longer, but thankfully I am on vacation til the first week of January.  I really don’t think I could have done this while I was in school and at work.  It has been an emotional rollercoaster, one that I really want to end.   He hasn’t made it easy by any means, and I guess it is partly my fault since I keep answering his texts.  Eventually–soon–I am going to have to draw the line and tell him to stop. or just stop answering. 

The hardest part has been the boys.  I have had my troubles with my oldest stepson, but it doesn’t mean I don’t love him.  I miss him dearly.  My youngest–well, he doesn’t know yet.  The ex has just told him that I am away for work.  My oldest thinks it is his fault, and I told the ex it is HIS job to reassure him and not let him think that way.  He said he did…and then promptly sent them to their grandmother’s house (his ex’s mother) since I wasn’t going to be there to babysit for the week (he isn’t off til Thursday afternoon).  So far, so good–he hasn’t had them call me.  That I don’t think I could handle.

More things have happened since I left, particuarly on Wednesday.  It isn’t going to be nice anymore–I thought that this could be civil.  Due to the events, I am not going to write too much about them, but it boils down to him about to get into a lot of trouble if he doesn’t stop bothering me and saying things he won’t be able to back up.

However, there have been some wonderful people in the last almost week that have helped immensely with my transition, along with the dogs.  They are happy in the new yard–Izzy discovered her first squirrel, and just wants to play, but the squirrel just threw sticks and stuff at her.  I have never seen my 60lb dog stand on her back legs and walk, but she was so funny when she did it.  🙂  I have found that she is scared of elderly people and doesn’t like one of my uncles.  Trooper is doing better, and actually warming up to people faster than Izzy is–Izzy is usually the really friendly one and has no problem with anyone.  I guess it is just the change.  Hopefully soon things will be back to somewhat normal, and life can go on .

Although limited in my supplies, I did manage to rescue a few of my looming projects from before it was all stored.  I finished a scarf yesterday, and will be working on another today–late Christmas presents.  After I get batteries (and yes, I am thinking about braving the grocery store on Christmas Eve) I will take pictures so I can post.  It is an extremely basic scarf, same and the one I am knitting now, so nothing too major.  The “major” project is working on a bandage, but I keep getting frustrated with the small stitches.  I keep telling myself I need to do it, as it is for charity.  New charity for the new year.

Happy holidays everyone, and hope that you have a wonderful and merry time with your loved ones.  🙂

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Have you ever noticed that life is full of cycles?  I am sure everyone has–moon cycles, women being graced with their cycles, life cycles…abuse cycles.

At work, I also teach.  It is not in my job description, but it is something I do for ME.  I know I have talked about it before, but I go to freshman classes on the campus and talk about emergency management, personal safety and sexual assault.  Lately, I have added H1N1 to my topics to talk about, mostly because the university is sitting at about a 10% absenteeism at this point (and flu season in Texas hasn’t technically started–it isn’t supposed to start til January and go through March).  I bring this up because people who have gone through a traumatic event such as rape have the tendency to get into a cycle of their own.  Some get into a cycle remembering–I know that I go through a point every year for about a month where my nerves are frayed and am plagued with nightmares of my rape around the anniversary, but other times I am ok unless there is a trigger.  Then the cycle begins again for a bit.  Others get into a cycle of abuse.  I am not saying by any means that it is on purpose, it’s just something that happens.  Some may end of finding people in their lives who keep them feeling like they did before–with no choices, the bottom of the bottom, not worth the attention of anyone except the one they are with.  Those are the ones who are good–really good–at making excuses.  Excuses for bruises, for moods, for crying, and especially excuses for their significant other’s behavior.  It becomes ingrained, because it is beaten in (verbally and/or physically) that the victim “deserves” what they are getting. 

Anyway, every semester I come across 2-4 students that have had something happen to them, and are looking for some sort of support.  I am more than happy to help out, especially since I was very fortunate to have support when it happened to me.  By telling my story to these students, it raises awareness and also shows those who have been victims that they are not alone.  Over 1000 have heard my story, and I don’t plan on stopping.  But recently I came across a cycle of someone who is very important to me.  She is married, and he is verbally abusive.  She has always made excuses for his behavior, and finally she realized what she was doing.  There’s usually a breaking point, and I believe she finally hit hers.  I am happy that she figured it out, and happier yet that she is going to leave him.  It isn’t happening now, but she has planning to do.  Considering he is in the “nice” and “apologetic” phase of the cycle, she is pretty confident that for now there is nothing to worry about–and he has never hit her, so that is also a good thing.  However, if there were to be a turn and he goes back to being mean and cruel, she is prepared to leave.  I know how hard it is, and I am so proud of her.  🙂

Another cycle–life.  A very close friend of mine, Sam, and his wife are expecting a baby boy in December.  Wonderful news for them, and he is so excited!  🙂  I am thrilled for them.  Being a first time father, Sam is nervous and excited.  I have been working since this summer on a blanket for them, another pinwheel, but all I have left is the edging–it is so repetitive, I can’t do it for long stretches of time.  360 rows of garter stitch…ug.  The blanket is beautiful and soft, and I REALLY need to get it done.  December is not that far away!!!

As for my cycle–I know I have been talking about getting pregnant for months, and all the trials and bumps that I have been going through.  The cyst in August led to the diagnosis of PCOS in September, and this month ruptured two more.  I have pretty much come to the conclusion that I am just going to not be a mom in the biological sense.  It is sad, and I wish differently, but there isn’t much for me to do otherwise.  Maybe sometime down the road when IVF becomes affordable.  🙂  I am not going to let it get me down, tho.  If it is meant to happen, it will.  But I am stopping the fertility drugs–I don’t know if that is what is causing the cysts to rupture.  Besides, the hot flashes are terrible on those meds!!

I do want to get back into the cycle of my loom knitting.  I have some awesome new looms I got for my birthday that I need to work on–I want to have a blanket knitted for my cousin when she marries in January, but I don’t know if I am going to get that done.  In my defense, I have started it.  Afghans are just so BIG, and I don’t have the time to just sit and knit.  I need to make the time, as I am sure that it will do wonders for relaxation and destressing a bit.  🙂  The past few weeks have been pretty stressful, and I need a break.

DH has been feeling bad for quite some time, getting hospitalized in the beginning of Sept.  He thought it was a heart attack (his best friend of 36 years had just died of one at age 39), but it turned out to be gallstones.  He postponed the surgery up until last week–the pain had been getting worse with the progression of time.  Sure enough, it was really bad, but he got through the surgery just fine last Thursday.  He’s off until next Monday, but will go back to work with limited duties.  He was going to have the surgery that Monday (10/19), but I was not going to be able to make it since I had a job interview….

Yep, another job interview.  No, it wasn’t because I was unhappy with my current job.  Actually Chief was the one who sent me the notice for the job opening (it is still a university job).  I was reluctant to apply for several reasons–I love working for the PD (not to metion, I wanted to work for them for 10 years before I got hired), I love working with my partner (slash best friend), and I love what I do.  No, it isn’t the highest paying job, but I do love it.  The new job, however, is my job plus…I would be travelling to other universities and teaching them how to do what I do.  I would also have a new partner, also from law enforcement.  It is three to four times what I am making now, 50%+ overnight travel, and all about higher education emergency management.  I talked to DH first to see what he thought, and he said it would be extremely stupid to pass up this opportunity.  Then, I reluctantly brought it up to Robert.  I was scared of his reaction, but he took it well–and wrote a letter of recommendation.  Chief also wrote one, as did the county emergency management coordinator and the vice president of my division.  I applied.  And on the 9th, I got a phone call to schedule my interview.  I was SO excited!!  I was getting my hair cut, so it wasn’t an opportune time to bounce around, but inside I was doing a happy dance.  I had 10 days to prepare.

You see, I had to do a 5-7 minute powerpoint presentation in front of the hiring board.  THAT had me scared.  I knew the people over in the department I was applying at, and some are quite intimidating.  So those 10 days I worked and researched and put together what I thought was a really good presentation (it could be over either public safety or higher education emergency management–I chose EM).  I went to the interview, and prepared for it by making packets for the board (usually 5-7 people) containing my FEMA and other EM certificates, copies of my letters of recommendation, copy of my resume and cover letter, and a copy of my powerpoint presentation so they could take notes.  I thought it was reasonable.  So I was pretty surprised when there were only three people on the board, two of which I knew and have worked with many times in the past two years.  After doing some catching up, I passed out the packets and got ready for the questions.  However, only two minutes into the questions, the power went out.  A very loud beeping came from the exit signs, which seriously threw me off for a few minutes.  We did continue the interview in the dark (mostly, had some light from a window), and I think I did pretty good for the questions.  Then it was time for my presentation, but we still had no power.  Kinda hard to do a computer presentation when there is no power.  🙂  They were going to cut the interview short and have my come back later when there was power, but I remembered that I had printed out the presentation and could do it from my handouts.  They were very impressed, as it showed that I was more than prepared for anything that could happen.  I did my presentation, did it in the time allowed, but still had some disappointment since I wasn’t able to show off my presentation.  I did end up emailing it to one of the board, so eventually they did see it.  As for now, I am in a holding position.  I don’t know anything at this point, but I do know they submitted the name on Monday.  It’s in committee.  HOPING to know by Friday.  They want this position–and the partner position–to begin on November 15.  Crossing my fingers!!! 

Ok…guess I have rambled long enough…happy almost Thursday, everyone!!

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Ok, I promised the pictures of my latest finished projects.  So here they are:

C PAP cover1

C PAP cover2

And I also finished a fleece blanket:

Kolby sport blanket

So those are the finished ones at this point.  I am working on my mom’s hooded scarf, and yesterday I finished my mom’s hat that she will be wearing to Colorado.  I didn’t get a picture of it, but the same type of yarn was used like in the second picture above, and it was brimless.  She wanted to sleep in it, and the brim to her was too tight for sleeping.  I actually finished that one while I was at the dentist’s office for the third time in five days.

You see, I have always had dental problems, and rarely had the insurance or money to get fixed what I need to get fixed, and when I can go it is usually for emergencies only and getting the least amount done as possible.  This time, I broke two teeth when grinding them at night, and I couldn’t ignore it since there was a LOT of pain.  The pain meds I have for arthritis did help some, but as most people know, you can’t ignore tooth pain for long.  Can’t eat right!!  I do have insurance now, quite good insurance since I work for the state, and I had some money from selling my car.  After calling eight dentists explaining I had an emergency and all telling me they couldn’t see me until late June or early July, I finally found one that could take me on a recommendation of a coworker.  The first day I went in they took two hours–they did xrays, probed, and discussed all the issues that I was aware of and quite embarassed and ashamed about (although most was not my fault due to a childhood illness that caused my enamel to go away).  The second day, I spend 3.5 hours getting a quarter of my mouth worked on.  One day off, and I got the other half of my mouth worked on for another 3.5 hours.  I now have a beautiful smile that I am not ashamed of showing, but I have had to change my speech pattern–which is well worth it.  I have an amazing dentist and an amazing dental assistant that I am forever in debt to.  So if you are in the Austin area and looking for a great dentist, let me know and I will be happy to refer you to him.  *BIG smile*

Now my kiddos are home, and here for five weeks.  I am SO happy they are here.  I miss them so much.  We have so many plans for while they are here, and I know that the time is going to go fast.  My oldest son wants to knit a little, so I am looking forward to having that time together.  My youngest is going to be in daycare, one that I trust (which is rare), while my oldest is attending daycamp next to my office.  Days he isn’t at the daycamp will be split between the daycare and staying at my office.  That alone was  a tough sell since I work in a PD and kids don’t generally go there unless in trouble.  But I am happy he is going to be with me.  I hate that I don’t get to see them often, and it breaks my heart to see them leave every time they go.  I feel  like a part of me is being ripped away.  I know that the mothers out there understand how I feel.

For now, I am going to enjoy my time with them.  Do my best to make sure that they are happy and well cared for, as well as make sure that they have a great summer while they are here with me.

Happy summer everyone!!  I hope it is as good as you want it to be!!

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I haven’t knitted in awhile, as I said before.  But knowing I was going to be down for a few days, I went and dug up a few UFOs (unfinished objects) to work on and hopefully complete after much procrastination.  I had promised Dwayne to finish his project some time ago, and yesterday afternoon I finally did.  I also finished another baby hat to add to my pile for donation, so I felt pretty good about that.  While putting the hat in the bag in the closet, I came across a few bags full of yarn, and remembered that I was supposed to knit a hooded scarf for my mom for Christmas.  So…now was the time to go ahead and start.

See, I cracked a tooth last week, and after many phone calls and much frustration, I finally found a dentist that could get me in.  He got me in and scheduled me for the beginning of a lot of dental work I had been putting off.  WONDERFUL man, and an even more wonderful assistant named Wendy.  She helped me through all of this, and I couldn’t be more grateful.  The pain has been really terrible, and without her, I don’t think I could have made it–I know that the pain is completely worth having it all fixed, but I know that you have to have someone there to hold your hand, and I am not above asking.

Anyway, I am about one skien into the scarf.  Looks like it will be needing about 5 or 6 to get through it since it is wide and thick.  It is also very soft, and I think I am going to use the same type of yarn for another project I have in mind.  Thinking about these scarfs and how I keep getting frustrated with doing the same thing over and over, I have come up with a few new ideas for patterns, and I really hope they pan out.  It will be awesome, and maybe I can learn how to put them up for sale on my blog.  **SIDE NOTE:  If anyone out there knows how to put things up for sale on a blog, PLEASE let me know!!  Thanks in advance!!**

I’ll put up the pictures of my finished project later.  I need to download them from the camera, and right now, being drugged to the eye-teeth, I don’t feel like doing much more than lie here on the couch.  Happy Monday everyone!!

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Well, I think I am going to start with the “Friday Fill-in” first…

1. Oh, I am so _tired_ !

2. _Pain_ changes, big and little.

3. During _work today_, I _am hoping that I hear the final word on my job at lunch with Chief…_.

4. _”Stepmoms aren’t real parents”_; are you kidding me??? (I have been hearing that A LOT lately)

5. Right now I’d like to be _in bed, happily asleep_.

6. _My Blackberry (I know, I know)_ is my favorite gadget.

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I’m looking forward to _relaxing on the couch and catching up on my shows_, tomorrow my plans include _having company for dinner_ and Sunday, I want to _study so I am ready for classes next week_!

It’s been a busy week.  It was the first week of classes, we had the new president sworn into office, Trooper got fixed, and I started the first of my two classes that I am taking this semester.  Only four (pretty sure of that) more until I graduate after these two!  I decided to retake a psychology course called Sensation and Perception that I failed (to ever show up for) many years ago, and a sociology course in Criminology.  Since classes started on Tuesday, I only attended one class–Criminology–this week, as my other class is on Monday nights.  I will say that the class is very interesting.  The professor started the class with going around the room to make introductions–we all had to state our name, where we were from, what our race is, and a crime that we have committed.  Considering what I do, I wasn’t too happy with the last part of the introduction speech.  I did choose to keep my profession quiet, and only admitted to a “crime” that I know is on record–when I ran over someone (and no, didn’t kill him; I just bumped him and he scratched his leg.  They said they wouldn’t sue, declined medical assistance, but then decided to sue three weeks later from Mexico claiming a lot of BS…needless to say, I was pissed…but that’s another story).  All in all, I think I am going to enjoy the class, but hope that he at least gives us a break in the middle (it is a 3 hour night course); he didn’t this last time, and by the time we got out of class I was in an immense amout of pain and decided to recover the next day instead of going to work.  Afterall, for now I am still a student worker. 

Trooper got fixed on Tuesday.  I was so sure that that was the best plan since he has been marking things in the house, is quite aggressive, and keeps tearing up things (usually things that are mine).  When he brought him home I felt terrible…Trooper was doped up and looked so sad.  His ears were down and tail was down, whimpering, and I held him the entire evening, giving him his pain meds at 8pm.  The next day he was still unhappy and hurting, and I knew that I wouldn’t be getting home until late and felt bad about leaving him.  Turns out he was much better but knew that I would baby him if he acted hurt.  He’s absolutely fine now, bouncing around, playing, and back to normal.  Just really hoping that he will calm down on the “marking territory” and chewing up my things!

I made the decision to knit at least 50 hats for donation to an area hospital for NICU.  Tonigjht I will finish at least 5, maybe six.  There was a great sale at Michaels on the softest yarn, and I had to get some.  Turned out just perfect for these little hats!!  I have been itching to knit more, and have some wonderful yarns I want to play with.  I am looking to knit a shawl later, maybe some yoga leggings (even tho I don’t do yoga)…just something different.  You can only knit so many scarves and hats, you know?  🙂  But still, I want to do something more complicated, so this fits in that category.

Tomorrow we are having friends over for BBQ.  I am looking quite forward to it, especially since we haven’t seen these friends since September or October.  It is going to be a great menu with great people.  I need this relaxing…next week is going to be nuts!!  I’m going to try to alleviate some of the stress by making a schedule…lists always seem to help….  🙂

Anyway, hope that everyone has a wonderful weekend.  To my dear friend, hang in there.  It will get easier.  I’ll always be here for you!!  Just remember, you are stronger than you think you are.  Nothing will be dealt to you that you can’t handle, even if you need some help along the way.

*hugs*

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FINALLY.  Today I found out.  It’s only been since October that I have been trying to get a permanent position at the PD.  After much waiting (three long months), I got the word today…I GOT THE JOB!!  Of course, it won’t be in effect until Feb. 1st, but that’s ok.  I am just so relieved to finally have an answer, and a good one at that!!  So now I am over parking and emergency management, was added to three committees, and became a member of TACUPA.  Very exciting!!!

Wow…it’s been a long time since I wrote on here.  It was a resolution to write more often, but it seems that every time I sat down to start writing something came up that required my immediate attention.  The boys were here for Christmas, and that went wonderfully.  My oldest requested to make a gingerbread house, and hubby and I agreed that it would be a great idea.  Things have been rough for them lately, so we wanted to do all that we could to make this a Christmas they really enjoyed.  Making the gingerbread house was loads of fun–however, the instructions said that the icing only needed 15 minutes to set up, and that was WAY off.  We had to support the roof with tupperware overnight to make sure it stayed together.  Here’s what it looked like:
gingerbread-house1

My oldest told me that Santa would for sure eat the chimney, and sure enough, he did!  That made both kiddos so happy!

After the boys went back home, I had another week of vacation.  I was SO thrilled at having peace and quiet and time to just relax.  Monday I had planned to start the day with a hot bath and a book, using one of the new bath bombs that I had ordered.  I drew the bath, found a good book to read, turned off the cell phone, slid into the tub…and after a minute figured out that I was allergic to the bath bomb.  Promptly broke out in hives!!!  Two showers and half of a bottle of liquid Benadryl later, I was not as relaxed as I had planned to be.  I spent the remainder of the day on the couch trying not to itch and recover, knitting with the dogs curled up beside me.  Surely the rest of my vacation would go well, right??  Wrong!!  I came down with a cold the next morning and was bed ridden until Saturday.  Missed New Years (fell asleep at 9pm), didn’t go anywhere or see anyone.  Then when I felt better, I did something that I have needed to do for years….I went through my closet!  I donated five trashbags full of clothing and one of shoes to Goodwill, then threw out five more bags of trash.  I was quite proud.  🙂

I was thrilled to get back to work, believe it or not.  I missed being at my office, doing what I love doing, and seeing the people that I work with.  I know I am strange…not too many people can say they WANT to be at work.  I had presents to deliver, one of them being for Robert.  I made him a fleece blanket like I did for the boys (which they absolutely loved, much to my happiness!!), and I was very happy with the way it turned out.
robert-blanket1

I also completed my commissioned baby set for another co-worker:
baby-set11

I did decide that this year I am going to make resolutions.  I did make them late since I was so, so sick on New Years, but I am pretty intent on actually sticking to these this year.  So here’s the list, although partial; I am planning on adding more as I see fit.

Jeni’s Resolutions for 2009

1.  Graduate from college (projected to happen in December if I stick to the current plan)
2.  Obtain a full-time position at the UPD (DONE!!)
3.  Keep up with my blog, and post more often
4.  Take on more complicated patterns
5.  Finish writing my patterns so that they can be sold
6.  Knit more for my chairity, Hope Pregnancy Center
7Learn to shoot
8.  Finish at least 5 more FEMA courses or courses related to Emergency Management
9.  Improve upon my CafeMom group to make it more active and fun
10.  Become a member of professional Emergency Management organizations, such as IAEM

Those are the first 10.  I know that I will think of more, and add them as the year progresses.  I will also keep it updated when I complete a goal I have set for myself.

Well, I believe I have rambled enough for now.  For those of you loom knitters who are looking for something fun and interesting to do, also with a chance of winning some awesome patterns, head over to Karen’s blog where she is celebrating her blog’s two year anniversary with an awesome party!!  Have fun, and good luck!!  Maybe I will do something like that for my two year mark…it’s a wonderful idea!!

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fridayfillin.gif

1. Please feel free to _talk to me!  I am here to listen_.
2. When I _set out fall candles_ I can’t help sniffing it occasionally.
3. My favorite thing to cook is _braised beef ribs_.
4. _Loom knitting_ is something I can’t get enough of.
5. That’s the thing I love most about _Lost–it’s an addicting show!_.
6. _The ex_ always makes me think to myself, what the heck?
7. And as for the weekend, tonight I’m looking forward to _going to sleep_, tomorrow my plans include _studying_ and Tuesday I want to _pass my Psych test_!

The first full week of being on my own at work flew by.  It was so busy, so stressful, I was wondering just how I was going to make it.  A flurry is how it is best described.  There was a major high point to the week–we had a meeting with the State Auditors and I was finally able to meet some people I have become close to on the phone, just never had the opportunity to meet.  Mostly due to distance, but some also due to lack to time and scheduling.  It was great to see them and be able to put a face with a voice.  Otherwise, I was able to learn a lot more about what I do and how to get it done.  I was thankful for being that busy…it’s awfully quiet down in my office alone.

This weekend, after attending my class, I forced myself to relax.  Stress was beginning to wear me down, and I needed to calm down and get my focus back.  I worked on my Christmas presents for the family, and got a few things done.  I finished another soap sack, and am working on the washcloth and a pair of slippers.  I think the pattern for the slippers is great, but it takes more time than some of the other patterns.  Now, time is of the esence, so I might just switch to a different pattern…have to get these done!!

School is going ok…I am still behind in one of my classes, but I have an idea how to catch up.  This week is going to focus on that.  I do have a test in Psych I am  going to study for tomorrow.  The rest of the week is going to be dedicated to the other class.  At work, I am going to be working on getting the totals for the FEMA reimbursement.  Let’s hope that goes smoothly.

Robert is doing much better.  I don’t think he is coming back as soon as he wants to–he wants to be back next week, but I agree with his doctor.  He needs time to recover and rest, and since he had had his heart attack when he was stationary and not doing anything active, there is more reason for concern.  I just want him better.  At this point, I am feeling like a lousy friend.  I haven’t seen him since the day he had the attack, and I know I need to.  Besides being super busy, I am scared…I hate thinking of the what ifs, and seeing it for myself…I want to know he’s ok, but, well, I have a fear that things are going to change when he gets back.  I don’t know what is going to happen with our job, and that scares me.  There’s plenty I am nervous about, and I know I am avoiding, hiding.  I am not telling him all that I want to tell him (problems and such) because I don’t want him to worry or cause undue stress.  Instead, I am keeping it to myself–there really isn’t anyone else to lean on–and it’s getting harder and harder.

Ok, time to turn in…I will try to be on time next week!!  I hope that all of this levels out soon!!  When I get the slippers finished, I will start taking pictures of the Christmas presents.  Hope all have a good week!!

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