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Posts Tagged ‘christmas’

Well, last Friday was the big day.  Everyone got to the house right before 7am.  Mom brought donuts and I made coffee.  I was surprised that we had two people that were not expected to help show up, but it was a huge help to have them.  I was so thankful and grateful to have everyone there–a total of 9 of us–to get me packed and moved out.  I wasn’t able to pack anything before hand, so it was just starting from scratch.  We managed to do it in about four and a half hours, which was really surprising to me.  We had to get a larger storage unit, but it worked out.  The downside–where I am now, there is not a lot of space for me yet.  There will be in February when I will begin living alone here (about mid month unless they complete the room faster), but for now, I am pretty cramped.  Which means I had to leave a lot in storage–including the majority of my yarn and looms.  I did keep some out to help with the stress and to finish some of the projects I need to get done.  It is still a huge adjustment, and the dogs are finally beginning to feel a bit more at home.  I know that it is going to take me longer, but thankfully I am on vacation til the first week of January.  I really don’t think I could have done this while I was in school and at work.  It has been an emotional rollercoaster, one that I really want to end.   He hasn’t made it easy by any means, and I guess it is partly my fault since I keep answering his texts.  Eventually–soon–I am going to have to draw the line and tell him to stop. or just stop answering. 

The hardest part has been the boys.  I have had my troubles with my oldest stepson, but it doesn’t mean I don’t love him.  I miss him dearly.  My youngest–well, he doesn’t know yet.  The ex has just told him that I am away for work.  My oldest thinks it is his fault, and I told the ex it is HIS job to reassure him and not let him think that way.  He said he did…and then promptly sent them to their grandmother’s house (his ex’s mother) since I wasn’t going to be there to babysit for the week (he isn’t off til Thursday afternoon).  So far, so good–he hasn’t had them call me.  That I don’t think I could handle.

More things have happened since I left, particuarly on Wednesday.  It isn’t going to be nice anymore–I thought that this could be civil.  Due to the events, I am not going to write too much about them, but it boils down to him about to get into a lot of trouble if he doesn’t stop bothering me and saying things he won’t be able to back up.

However, there have been some wonderful people in the last almost week that have helped immensely with my transition, along with the dogs.  They are happy in the new yard–Izzy discovered her first squirrel, and just wants to play, but the squirrel just threw sticks and stuff at her.  I have never seen my 60lb dog stand on her back legs and walk, but she was so funny when she did it.  🙂  I have found that she is scared of elderly people and doesn’t like one of my uncles.  Trooper is doing better, and actually warming up to people faster than Izzy is–Izzy is usually the really friendly one and has no problem with anyone.  I guess it is just the change.  Hopefully soon things will be back to somewhat normal, and life can go on .

Although limited in my supplies, I did manage to rescue a few of my looming projects from before it was all stored.  I finished a scarf yesterday, and will be working on another today–late Christmas presents.  After I get batteries (and yes, I am thinking about braving the grocery store on Christmas Eve) I will take pictures so I can post.  It is an extremely basic scarf, same and the one I am knitting now, so nothing too major.  The “major” project is working on a bandage, but I keep getting frustrated with the small stitches.  I keep telling myself I need to do it, as it is for charity.  New charity for the new year.

Happy holidays everyone, and hope that you have a wonderful and merry time with your loved ones.  🙂

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FINALLY.  Today I found out.  It’s only been since October that I have been trying to get a permanent position at the PD.  After much waiting (three long months), I got the word today…I GOT THE JOB!!  Of course, it won’t be in effect until Feb. 1st, but that’s ok.  I am just so relieved to finally have an answer, and a good one at that!!  So now I am over parking and emergency management, was added to three committees, and became a member of TACUPA.  Very exciting!!!

Wow…it’s been a long time since I wrote on here.  It was a resolution to write more often, but it seems that every time I sat down to start writing something came up that required my immediate attention.  The boys were here for Christmas, and that went wonderfully.  My oldest requested to make a gingerbread house, and hubby and I agreed that it would be a great idea.  Things have been rough for them lately, so we wanted to do all that we could to make this a Christmas they really enjoyed.  Making the gingerbread house was loads of fun–however, the instructions said that the icing only needed 15 minutes to set up, and that was WAY off.  We had to support the roof with tupperware overnight to make sure it stayed together.  Here’s what it looked like:
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My oldest told me that Santa would for sure eat the chimney, and sure enough, he did!  That made both kiddos so happy!

After the boys went back home, I had another week of vacation.  I was SO thrilled at having peace and quiet and time to just relax.  Monday I had planned to start the day with a hot bath and a book, using one of the new bath bombs that I had ordered.  I drew the bath, found a good book to read, turned off the cell phone, slid into the tub…and after a minute figured out that I was allergic to the bath bomb.  Promptly broke out in hives!!!  Two showers and half of a bottle of liquid Benadryl later, I was not as relaxed as I had planned to be.  I spent the remainder of the day on the couch trying not to itch and recover, knitting with the dogs curled up beside me.  Surely the rest of my vacation would go well, right??  Wrong!!  I came down with a cold the next morning and was bed ridden until Saturday.  Missed New Years (fell asleep at 9pm), didn’t go anywhere or see anyone.  Then when I felt better, I did something that I have needed to do for years….I went through my closet!  I donated five trashbags full of clothing and one of shoes to Goodwill, then threw out five more bags of trash.  I was quite proud.  🙂

I was thrilled to get back to work, believe it or not.  I missed being at my office, doing what I love doing, and seeing the people that I work with.  I know I am strange…not too many people can say they WANT to be at work.  I had presents to deliver, one of them being for Robert.  I made him a fleece blanket like I did for the boys (which they absolutely loved, much to my happiness!!), and I was very happy with the way it turned out.
robert-blanket1

I also completed my commissioned baby set for another co-worker:
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I did decide that this year I am going to make resolutions.  I did make them late since I was so, so sick on New Years, but I am pretty intent on actually sticking to these this year.  So here’s the list, although partial; I am planning on adding more as I see fit.

Jeni’s Resolutions for 2009

1.  Graduate from college (projected to happen in December if I stick to the current plan)
2.  Obtain a full-time position at the UPD (DONE!!)
3.  Keep up with my blog, and post more often
4.  Take on more complicated patterns
5.  Finish writing my patterns so that they can be sold
6.  Knit more for my chairity, Hope Pregnancy Center
7Learn to shoot
8.  Finish at least 5 more FEMA courses or courses related to Emergency Management
9.  Improve upon my CafeMom group to make it more active and fun
10.  Become a member of professional Emergency Management organizations, such as IAEM

Those are the first 10.  I know that I will think of more, and add them as the year progresses.  I will also keep it updated when I complete a goal I have set for myself.

Well, I believe I have rambled enough for now.  For those of you loom knitters who are looking for something fun and interesting to do, also with a chance of winning some awesome patterns, head over to Karen’s blog where she is celebrating her blog’s two year anniversary with an awesome party!!  Have fun, and good luck!!  Maybe I will do something like that for my two year mark…it’s a wonderful idea!!

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It’s about 10:30pm, and I am still typing.  Here, and on my paper.  I still have MANY pages to write, but I need to get my brain in a different gear before I hit meltdown.  I know that I am going to get the paper done, but at what cost?  Probably my health, definitely going to lose sleep, and I know I will be paying dearly for it later.

In the mean time, other areas are taking a massive upswing.  For a change.  Robert called today to let me know that he will be returning to work next Monday.  YAY!!  🙂  His doctor gave him the all-clear, and even better news–no heart damage from the heart attack, and no further heart disease.  I am thrilled, and so relieved.  I had no idea how much I was stressing about it until I found out he is ok.  A huge weight lifted, and my focus came back. 

I also finished the second pattern I created.  I am so thankful to Bethany for allowing me to use her mitten pattern within my pattern.  So a big THANKS!!! to Bethany!!  I have sent my pattern for the “Alisha Ponytail Hat” to Karen for review and test knitting, and will be sending my pattern for the “McKenzie Skittens” as soon as I finish typing my portfolio for school and make a few more adjustments.

My final happiness for now is knowing that my Christmas shopping for my boys is done.  That one part makes a huge difference…both hubby and I have had massive pay cuts for the past few months, so making ends meet and affording Christmas has had us both extremely concerned.  We have informed the rest of the family that we won’t be able to do much for anyone, and to please not worry about getting hubby or I gifts; we would rather the kids recieve gifts if they want to do anything for us.  We have plenty and are thankful for what we have; we just want the best for the boys and that would be the best gift for us.

The last month has been extremely difficult for me.  Between Robert’s heart attack, an increase in workload and no increase in work hours, and the ever impending schoolwork/finals….not too easy.  There has been one person who has “listened” to me scream, cry, bitch, whine, moan, laugh, and overcome throughout this month, and I wanted to take the time to say thank you.  So thank you, Paotie.  You helped me more than you could know, and your friendship is something I really treasure.  I know that no matter what happens to me you will be there for me to lean on.  I’m counting on that lunch.  🙂  Lord knows I owe you one.

Ok, I have procrastinated yet once again for far too long.  Break’s over, back to work.

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1. Please feel free to _talk to me!  I am here to listen_.
2. When I _set out fall candles_ I can’t help sniffing it occasionally.
3. My favorite thing to cook is _braised beef ribs_.
4. _Loom knitting_ is something I can’t get enough of.
5. That’s the thing I love most about _Lost–it’s an addicting show!_.
6. _The ex_ always makes me think to myself, what the heck?
7. And as for the weekend, tonight I’m looking forward to _going to sleep_, tomorrow my plans include _studying_ and Tuesday I want to _pass my Psych test_!

The first full week of being on my own at work flew by.  It was so busy, so stressful, I was wondering just how I was going to make it.  A flurry is how it is best described.  There was a major high point to the week–we had a meeting with the State Auditors and I was finally able to meet some people I have become close to on the phone, just never had the opportunity to meet.  Mostly due to distance, but some also due to lack to time and scheduling.  It was great to see them and be able to put a face with a voice.  Otherwise, I was able to learn a lot more about what I do and how to get it done.  I was thankful for being that busy…it’s awfully quiet down in my office alone.

This weekend, after attending my class, I forced myself to relax.  Stress was beginning to wear me down, and I needed to calm down and get my focus back.  I worked on my Christmas presents for the family, and got a few things done.  I finished another soap sack, and am working on the washcloth and a pair of slippers.  I think the pattern for the slippers is great, but it takes more time than some of the other patterns.  Now, time is of the esence, so I might just switch to a different pattern…have to get these done!!

School is going ok…I am still behind in one of my classes, but I have an idea how to catch up.  This week is going to focus on that.  I do have a test in Psych I am  going to study for tomorrow.  The rest of the week is going to be dedicated to the other class.  At work, I am going to be working on getting the totals for the FEMA reimbursement.  Let’s hope that goes smoothly.

Robert is doing much better.  I don’t think he is coming back as soon as he wants to–he wants to be back next week, but I agree with his doctor.  He needs time to recover and rest, and since he had had his heart attack when he was stationary and not doing anything active, there is more reason for concern.  I just want him better.  At this point, I am feeling like a lousy friend.  I haven’t seen him since the day he had the attack, and I know I need to.  Besides being super busy, I am scared…I hate thinking of the what ifs, and seeing it for myself…I want to know he’s ok, but, well, I have a fear that things are going to change when he gets back.  I don’t know what is going to happen with our job, and that scares me.  There’s plenty I am nervous about, and I know I am avoiding, hiding.  I am not telling him all that I want to tell him (problems and such) because I don’t want him to worry or cause undue stress.  Instead, I am keeping it to myself–there really isn’t anyone else to lean on–and it’s getting harder and harder.

Ok, time to turn in…I will try to be on time next week!!  I hope that all of this levels out soon!!  When I get the slippers finished, I will start taking pictures of the Christmas presents.  Hope all have a good week!!

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Ok, it’s Friday.  So this first…

And…here we go!

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1. My blueprint for success includes _finishing school and working in EM_.
2. _Hershey’s Cookies and Cream_ was the last candy I ate.
3. The best facial moisturizer I’ve ever used is _none–I don’t use them_.
4. _Crying_ can be good therapy.
5. I’d like to tell you about _yesterday…which I will in a minute…_.
6. _Organization_ is my strongest characteristic.
7. And as for the weekend, tonight I’m looking forward to _seeing my kids_, tomorrow my plans include _playing, homework, and checking on Robert,_ and Sunday, I want to _hopefully get to relax and knit_!

Yesterday was a serious wake up call.  I thought it was going to be a normal day at work, go to class, get home and change, then off to my knitting circle.  None of that happened.

My best friend/boss had a heart attack in front of me.  He said his back hurt–totally normal, and didn’t think anything of it.  Then it got worse, and he laid his head down.  Then pushed out his chair and laid down on the floor.  I was terrified–for him to want EMS it had to be really bad.  Less than two minutes and the ambulance and fire truck were there, and he was being hooked up to machines and oxygen…it scared the hell out of me.  Then the ambulance, the emergency room, and surgery…sitting with his wife and oldest daughter and another officer…then we got to see him when he was transferred to ICU.  Everyone had it together.  Everyone but me.  I kept crying.  Getting a grip, then crying some more.  I couldn’t get the picture out of my head of him lying on the ground.  Them carrying him to the stretcher.  His pain.  The thought that I might have lost him if I had not been there.

He’s ok now.  Awake, alert, joking, wanting a smoke…same as before.  But this made me realize a few things.  I don’t have many friends.  I have coworkers, people I know…but no one really to turn to when I need them.  He’s always been there for me, and he would have been the one I turned to.  But I couldn’t because he wasn’t there.  Everyone is busy, has other things going on…don’t want to have to deal with tears or hearing about how scared someone else is.  I have my family, and I am grateful for them.  My parents were there for me.  Friends?  Not so much.  I didn’t know how much I rely on him for a shoulder, for getting thru day to day stuff that comes up.  People at work really don’t know me, and I am not comfortable leaning on them.  There are not many others that I talk to.  I did finally get in touch with someone who I had considered a friend before but had disappeared.  Now…friends again, and for that I am thankful.  I also learned who I can’t count on.  That was an eye opener as well.  But I know now, and am better for it.

I have been frantically working on Christmas presents–most are going to be knitted since money is tight, and lord knows I have plenty of yarn.  Who am I kidding??  I never have enough yarn!!  Still, there is plenty for Christmas, and I have many ideas.  Getting them done in time is going to be a challenge, especially with school and work.  But I am going to try.  Pictures to come, of course.

And on that note, I am going to work on my paper for school that is due tomorrow…and worksheets…and the many other things that are piling up.  🙂  Wish me luck.

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